


we live in a society

by tigerboi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, but its short you won't cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:53:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerboi/pseuds/tigerboi
Summary: Johnny never asked to be alive. But he always wanted to live.





	we live in a society

Johnny never asked to be alive.

They always wanted a child. His mom used to cry herself to sleep every night thinking about newer and newer laws limiting population growth. But the overpopulation wasn’t a problem one could just overcome. She knew that, she wasn’t stupid, yet the thought of having a child was always at the back of her head. Being picked to be able to bring up one was for her and her husband a blessing. The boy was loved even before he was alive, and loved even more as he grew.

Being the last legally born child in the whole province was strange. He was the youngest one in the whole school. Never really got along with his classmates, they never smiled, gloomy faces everywhere. All he ever wanted was a friend, yet all he got was sadness and weird looks from his teachers. Only when he was older did he understand where they come from.

He understood how him being alive stopped others from having children of their own.

Not only that. He started seeing things. His mom told him not to look.

But he kept looking.

He kept looking at every new trash pile that grew on the side if the road. He kept looking at every lost shoe, at every limping child.

And he kept looking at people staring at him. And soon they stopped. He didn’t. He studied his reality. And then he asked.

\- Dad,  where do you work? – he asked one time, when his dad was making dinner. He just started to get hungry.

 - I work at the supply centre. You remember, it’s the place we go every week to get meat and vegetables. So you can grow healthy and big. – he chuckled and ruffled his son’s hair. The boy just pouted.

\- Will I work there, too?

\- I mean, if you want to? You can work wherever you want. I once was a car mechanic. Have you seen a car? – he’s never seen his dad smile so happily. The older just continued. - Cars are these fast machines that you can drive. I mean, you can’t, not now. But I used to have one, you know? That baby was growling like crazy. – he had no idea what his dad was talking about, as he has never seen such a machine, he could only imagine. Yet the boy just scratched his little head and proceeded with his questions.

\- Where does mom work?

\- Your mom works in the hospital. We’ve been there once, you got vaccinated. A doctor stabbed you with a needle. Does it ring a bell? – another chuckle escaped his dad’s mouth. Talking about past seemed to really make him happy. The boy just winced at the memory.

When he finished school, he decided to work at the social welfare centre. They we’re helping elderly survive the rest of their days peacefully, not having to wander around on the streets. It was perfect for him.

Some days he would just play chess with everyone.

Some days homeless people would come around and ask for help. Some days he would skip his meal just to offer it to someone who may need it more.

Some days one of his patients, as he liked to call them, would ask him to be as happy as they were spending time with him. Some days he would cry.

One day, he noticed one of the cooks taking more supplies that was needed. Johnny followed her through the back door, just looking at her from behind the corner.

Looking at her, as she handed the food to two young boys, barely younger than him. One of them quickly hid the food in his bag, mumbled something he couldn’t hear, and rushed off.

*

One thing that came with your own job was your own flat. Well, a place. He wouldn’t call it a flat, but it was definitely bearable. One room joined with a little kitchen and a bathroom. When he saw it for the first time, he was actually exited to live there, but coming back to an empty, cold home made him just miss his parents.

On his bedside table laid a photo of his parents next to their old car that they had to sell. He smiled to himself, thinking how many good memories they had probably made, he surely was happy for them. Yet he couldn’t say that for himself. There was that weird feeling deep inside him, leaving him uneasy and worried. There were problems in this world he could not solve.

The boy laid down on his bed, facing the wall and leaving the worries behind him. His stomach hurt that night, but it was okay.

He didn’t sleep.

The alarm clock rang at six.

He slowly stood up, his head spinning, and went to the bathroom. Looking at his reflection, he saw the bags under his eyes and general gloominess. He somehow found it funny, how he became one of them. He then quickly brushed his teeth and grabbed a glass of water. He stopped for a moment, in the middle of his miniature flat, to think about what he actually was going to do. He chose to pick up a backpack, he didn’t need it anyway, and he could just fill it with things. Things. Things. What things? He opened his fridge only to see one carrot and a little bag of cheese. He put both of those inside, then put them back in the fridge and sighed deeply, leaning on the door of the opened fridge.

He got a headache again. 

He walked up to the wardrobe, almost tripping on his way, picked clothes that seemed warm enough and put them inside. He also grabbed couple of water bottles. He didn’t really plan to do this, it just happened. Or more like, he just needed to do it. They were younger than him, how can this even be possible? He was aware that he was not the youngest anymore, but the limitations were high and he knew about every child that was born after him, it was not that hard, given there was just seven of them.

Then maybe they are form other provinces? But then why would they come here?

He just grabbed the bag, put on his coat and left.

The cold breeze attacked him the second he opened the door, but he was not the kind to give up. Or maybe he was, but this time it was his duty to help them. He had to.

He walked straight to the kitchens, asking the cook that gave them food the other day to follow him.

\- Look, I don’t really know you and those boys that you were talking to some time ago, but I can’t let them freeze out there. Can you… - she interrupted.

\- Which boys? I don’t remember talking to anyone outside of the personnel. – she furrowed her brows.

\- I’ve seen you give them food. I don’t want them to die, okay? Just give them this. – he said, while pushing the bag towards her. – It’s just some warm clothes for them, you can go through it if you don’t believe me.

He heard her unzip the backpack on his way out.

*

His second encounter with the boys was on the next day.

He was reading a book for his patients in the living room, “Moby Dick”. Reading time only lasted one hour, as he didn’t want to lose his voice, but they were always thankful for it. When he was about to end, he saw the cook on the hallway, gesturing that he should follow her. He placed the book on the shelf and said goodbye to the group. Some seniors waved, some smiled at him. He regretted leaving them every time, thinking about how many of them he was seeing for the last time.

Yet he followed her to the storeroom, where she just said:

\- They said they want to meet you, to thank you. I don’t think it’s a good idea, someone might see. Just like you did. – she pointed out. – But they’re being stupid again. – she sighed.

\- Um. Okay. When? – he was a bit surprised, didn’t really expect them to want to thank him, let alone want to meet up with him.

\- I’ll tell you when they’ll get here. – she was already on her way out.

\- Ho-how did they even get here? How are they alive? – he asked, and she stopped for a second.

\- From a different province, but that’s all I can say.

And she was gone.

And so he waited.

It was right after dinner. He was helping some seniors with their meals. Looking around the dining room, he noticed that there was one senior more. It was relieving, there was some hope after all.

\- Come on. – she whispered to him as she was passing by. He quickly followed her, they got out through the same door as the last time. The two boys were there already.

The awkward silence lasted for a moment, then the cook spoke up.

\- I knew this was a bad idea. You should go, Johnny. – she sighed.

\- No, no you shouldn’t. – the older one said. He had an oversized coat on, he didn’t even realise it’s the one he gave him.

\- Where do you live? – he just needed to know if they were safe, if they were warm.

\- In the… - he hesitated. – In the abandoned residential block near the hospital.

Johnny’s heart stopped for a second. He remembered his mom talking about passing this block on her way from work. She also said how scared she is, whenever one of the homeless from there approaches her, many of them are drug addicts. They will not hesitate. They can’t stay there.

\- I have a flat, I live alone. You can come there.

\- You’re insane! What if someone sees? Do you want to risk it? – she looked at Johnny, then at the older boy.

\- Do you think I can trust him? – the boy asked her. Johnny could hear sadness in his voice. He’s been through a lot. She sighed again.

\- Yes. But you can’t trust anyone else there. – she folded her arms and squeezed them tight to her body. Both her and the boy looked around. Johnny remembered they have to be very careful.

\- My name is Ten. This is Hendery. – he put his arm around the younger’s neck and looked down. – He’s legal. I’m not. Our parents are dead and I just can’t leave him. – then he looked straight at Johnny. – Do you really want us to live in your flat? – he could hear his hope. Johnny swallowed the guilt that was coming up his throat.

\- I don’t want you to die. Nor freeze to death. You should live there at least until we figure something else out. – he sniffed. – But she’s right. You shouldn’t just show up there, someone might see.

\- At least _you_ have a functioning brain. – she scoffed.

\- We can go there at night? Maybe this way no one will see. – said Ten.

\- I’ll wait for you at midnight then. Do you know where is that new district?

*

And life would go on. He would come back home completely covered with snow, and they would just laugh at him, trying to make even one snowball from it. Sometimes he would still skip his meal, just to give some more food to Hendery. The kid had an appetite, that he had to admit. Ten was thankful. He would cook, saying that he doesn’t want to be a burden for Johnny. But he wasn’t and he could never be. Hendery and Ten were sleeping in his bed, he took the couch, even if he was a little too big for it. They were okay. He smiled to himself.

\- Is this your family? – asked Ten, holding up the picture from his bedside table. He looked sad, as if he remembered something, but he was smiling.

\- Yeah, it’s an old picture.

\- They look happy.

\- They were.

The boy stared at him.

\- Are you?

\- I am now.

He closed his eyes.

Even if he didn’t sleep that night, it was okay.

*

Someone must’ve had seen them. There was panic in Ten’s eyes, he didn’t even bother to look at Hendery. He just jumped in front of them.

\- They’re legal. What do you want? – he screamed at the officers.

\- I need to see the papers. Show me the birth certificates. – his cold voice sent shivers down his spine. Johnny pointed at the shelf, insisting Ten looks for his documents. The younger boy took his certificate from the bag under his bed. When Ten finally found them, he had no idea what was going to happen.

\- I don’t have one. – said Johnny quietly. His heart was beating so fast and loud, he didn’t hear anything.

\- What?

\- I said. Get on your knees. – the officer repeated.

Other one came up to Ten, checking his papers. Johnny heard a silent whimper, at which tears just started falling down his face. Then they looked at Hendery’s documents, he couldn’t see them, couldn’t tell them it’s okay.

\- What is this one doing here? He’s from a different province. – raspy, male voice asked.

\- His house burnt down, he’s just a child, I had to take care of him. – said Ten, his voice almost breaking. Johnny could tell he was on the verge of bursting into tears.

\- So, whose flat is that? – the officer scoffed.

\- It’s ours. – Ten answered.

\- Good one. So, you’re saying you’ve been living here with them… for how long? – this question was aimed at Johnny.

\- A year. I’ve been hiding at my parents before. – he said steadily, afraid they would notice his lies.

\- Look, I could walk around the city and ask which one of you is legal here. It’s clear you’re hiding something, and I can only assume it’s that. But I don’t fucking care which one of you dies, one has to. I just want to go home. Is that your final choice? – Johnny couldn’t see his face under the mask, but he could clearly hear the smile in his voice.

\- I don’t have a birth certificate. – he just repeated. Now he could hear both of the boys crying, he closed his eyes.

He didn’t even hear the shot.

Johnny never asked to be alive. But he always wanted to live.

**Author's Note:**

> so [ hmu on tt ](twitter.com/jnstandjfhsl)  
> and if you want to [complain](curiouscat.me/johnnyscalf)


End file.
